Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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