it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
