Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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