I will die if light touches me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
