i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
