how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
