I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This baby is an asshole
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
