Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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