Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
