i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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