Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
