Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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