ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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