if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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