I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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