woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
