im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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