It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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