Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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