dude i'm inner monologue high
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
