I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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