So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
