Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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