I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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