We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
