Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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