sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
