The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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