If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
