to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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