It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
