member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I forget how to act sober
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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