He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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