Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
