This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
