i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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