you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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