he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm both gender and math confused
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
