just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
