Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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