Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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