this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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