They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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