If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
