Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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