I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
