This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
