Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
