ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
