Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
True college students do jello shots in the library
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
