when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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