We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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