What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
