Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
