If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
