she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
