1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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