My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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