I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
