Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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