I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
