Me too!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
