I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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