I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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